What’s Your Love Language?
Love. Four letters. One word. Love is something that can take us to the end of the world with a special someone by our side. Love can make you angry or upset. Love can also make you a bit crazy. There are so many different people to love. There is family, friends that feel like family, partners, and even pets. It is important to remember that everyone is capable of love. It is a feeling that no one can truly describe, but rather show.
Love language is a notion that was developed by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. Everyone has their particular love language, and it all falls under the five different love languages. Thoroughly understanding these love languages is how you will be able to understand the people or person you love.
Words of Affirmation
This language is where words come in to play. It is point blank communicating love through verbal usage. Those who frequently need an “I love you” or “You look beautiful.” However, this is not limited to a simple “I love you.” It could also be words that encourage, appreciate, and empathize with one’s feelings. Most importantly, it is disheartening or more impactful when someone uses words to insult or hurt.
Physical touch is where being engulfed in hugs every day as a child or the complete opposite may have impacted one’s love language. Especially with a partner, intimacy is essential. Love can be expressed through hugs, kisses, holding hands, cuddling, or even sitting close together. They must also understand when this is consensual and when it is not.
Acts of Service
This love language revolves around being cared for by a loved one. It is crucial that their partner recognizes when they are having a bad day and puts in the effort to make it better. It could be through a surprise dinner, a weekend getaway, or even just a day for you to spend time with each other. It could also be expressed by doing chores or helping them finish a strenuous task.
This language is all about actively being together. Quality time could be anything from dinner to a quick walk together. There is an extremely broad definition of quality time. Some could say that sitting on the couch watching TV together is quality time. However, Chapman explains that this is not the case. Quality time is giving someone your undivided attention (55). It is where you have eye contact and genuine conversations. Electronics are off, and all of the focus is on the other person.
Although gift-giving is used widely as a way to showcase one’s love, this is the type of love language they rely on. They need these tangible symbols to feel their loved one’s affection. It could be through surprises, emphasizing how significant birthdays or anniversaries are, or ordering a bouquet and a bottle of white wine from Gesture!
I want to emphasize that this is for any relationship. It could be for friends or family, not just a significant other. Understanding these different love languages gives them an incredible advantage when they know how to show their love for someone. I took this 5 Love Languages Quiz and found out my love language is Quality Time. Who would’ve thought? Beyond discovering your love language, it is imperative to communicate what this might be to your loved ones. Communication is the utmost important part of any relationship. Gesture your loved ones a bottle of your choice and get to talking about what your love language is!